Sunday, November 25, 2007

Good to Know

My friend Carol is a Nature Educator who works for the State Park near Clinton. She took on the challenge of coming into my classroom twice a month to talk about the wonders of nature. Last year she had prescribed topics and was unsure if she was giving the kids what they needed. She decided this year she would let the students questions drive the curriculum. Carol is my age and her daughter and Joel grew up together. Carol has almost as many stories as I have and the students hang on her every word. well sort of. Every statement she makes elicits another questions. I sit across the room and take notes. Most of the time my notes look like a spider web. Let me give you an example: Carol brought in a snake skelaton, Kids:Wow lots of bones. Carol: those are ribs; Kyle: does it have fangs. Carol: yes Kyle: It is true they can squeeze you to death, Carol: not this one, it is a viper and only 8 inches long. Pete: can you milk it? Carol: if you wanted to harvest the vinom; (at this point I thought we were doing pretty well. then. David says Did you see that snake that ate an aligator then burst. Carol: yes It.... Mike: aligators don't get eaten by stakes. Carol: well not usually David: it ate it I saw it. Pete: was it a cartoon. Mike. An aligator didn't kill the crocodile hunter. Carol said no. David says A sting ray stupid guy shouldn't have been in the water. Pete: he ran out of aligators. Amy: the stingray stabbed him in the heart. Mary: did it happen in February maybe it was cupid. (from another class I would have thought Mary was being rude. She was serious. Mike: said that sting ray was poisen. Carol said the sting ray's poison didn't kill the Croc hunter. Now she got the students attention. She explained Croc guy died when he pulled the stinger out of his Heart. He bled to death. Ohhhhhhhh the class all picked up the pencils and started writing. Carol said you are writing this down? Mike said This is good to know Carol if I ever go swimming. David said I'm not swimming in Clinton Lake anymore. Mary said I wrote down "If you get stuck in the heart don't pull it out.
I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard.


Carol also brought in an opossom stuffed grasping a limb. David why isn't it hanging by it's tail. Carol said my number one rule is don't learn nature from cartoons. Mary what is wrong with his ears. Carol said they get frost bite in the cold winters. Mike Are they egg suckers. Carol said they can be. Mary his ears are ugly. David: I saw an elephant hang upside down. Carol: cartoon rule. At this point Jay is curled up on the floor. Pete says: how many lives does an opossom have. Carol said "one" Pete: I saw one die before and then when we went back he was gone. Mary said his body went to heaven. Mike said a cayote ate it. Carol said they faint when they are scared but they aren't dead. David yeah when they sneak through the hedge they scare people so other animals can take their food. Carol: cartoon rule. Carol said that the opossom can't control their fainting. When they get scared they faint. Mary is writing. How do you spell roller coaster. Carol why. Mary says I'm writing "Don't take opossoms on a roller coaster and buy them some earrings so their ears won't be so ugly.

I'm leaving the room with tears running down my face. Does Mary not notice that the opossom has to be one of the ugliest animals I've ever seen.

My test after Carol leaves is an essay. Write what you learned.

Here is what I get.

Dead snakes don't have legs.

They have thumbs

Carol doesn't like cartoons

When possoms die they come back to life.

when possoms have babies she keeps them in her coat. but she doesn't have a zipper.

snakes can eat animals that are 5 Xs bigger than they are but not aligators.

snakes teeth point in so their food can run down to their stomachs.

possoms have ugly ears

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Here turkey, turkey, turkey,

Poor little hybred turkeys don't even have a running chance. Too fat to fly, and not bright enought to hide in the windowless world they live in bill cut, toes cut to keep them from harming each other.

We didn't raise many turkeys, we had a few from time to time. Our farm was more of a zoo. Dad love to have a few of many different animals. A few sheep, a pig or two,a rabbit, guinia, a goat, He didn't require his livestock to be useful. As a child I was determined to tame them all. And I think I did a pretty good job.

Dad would buy 200 or so baby chicks in the spring. In the fall we would butcher the roosters and keep the hens for eggs. Dad would always leave a few roosters "to keep the hens happy" Chicken's when they sleep are clueless to the world. They like to be on a roost, but you could reach up and grab any one of them as they sleep. My feelings were if we had to eat the creatures we should at least give them a running chance. And I did. On butchering day the younger kids me included would run ourselves around in circles catching chickens with nothing more than a 6 gage wire with a hook at the end. The roosters would squalk like crazy. If you grabbed their heads and put them under their wings and gave then an around the world spin. They would be confused and sit calmly until their time came. I would ask the chicken forgiveness before putting a stick over they necks and yanking on their legs with everything I had. The idea was to pull and throw at the same time. think of a 5 year old child doing that. I was 10 but the size of a 5 year old. It wasn't always pretty but I got the job done.

So now I buy the big fat goofy turkey perferably with a done switch, put that baby in a baking bag (thanks god for inventors) and don't even have to think about the feathers.

how can I love people and hate crowds at the same time. I don't mind hellos but hate good-byes Mostly I just know I have to live within my confort zone. I can go to a wedding and be perfectly fine and then I'm not and I leave. but most that know me know I'll go when I'm ready and don't worry about where I've gone. Other days I can enjoy the time I spend. But fortunately at my age I can fly away and not worry about it.

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays. Lets pack up and go to the families for the day. Not good for me. No way out if I'm not confortable.

We all live within our limits. I just hope people understand that it isn't something they do or don't do. It is just my world.

Speaking of Turkeys - My classroom has been intersting. New student in Oct. turned my fruit's basket upside down. I've about got in to where I can think and next month I get another new student. but the year is almost half over and I've got one more year to be skinny before my 50th birthday.

I miss making pies. I miss making bread. I didn't do either this year. I'm not a good pie maker but it is such good therapy. Making bread makes me feel like I'm connected. the problem is I like sour dough bread and you have to start and feed it for a week before you make it. dump it in a bread maker isn't the same.


Maybe I'll start some sour dough started today. My grandmother would boil potatoes smash them and add a quart glass of starter to the pan. The next morning she would dip out a quart jar of started for the next time. She would then make 13 loaves of bread.


I would dump 2 tablespoons of dry potatoes and 1/2 cup surga in and leave it over night and remove one cup in the moring to make my bread. ok so I cheated a little but I wouldn't beable to bake ina wood stove anyway.